Chapter 15
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She'd nearly talked herself out of going to Duncan's. Which, of course, would be insane. She wanted to go. She really, really wanted to finish what they'd started on his veranda a few nights before.
But Sensible Phoebe elected to debate with Needy Phoebe-and damn her, had made some very valid points on the way home from work, during the change-for-date process and even now on the drive to the island portion of the evening.
They should get to know each other better. He was, no question, an appealing, interesting man. But what was the rush? Wouldn't it be more rational-read: safer-to have a few more dates in public venues before haring off to his house when and where the end result was inevitable? She could argue with that, and did. She liked him, she enjoyed him, she was strongly attracted to him physically. She was thirty-three.
But really, what did she know about him-under the surface of things? For all she knew he might be the type who used that affability of his like a weapon and knocked susceptible females over on a weekly basis. He could be the male version of Celene's mother, busily juggling. Did she want to be one of his balls in the air?
What the hell difference did it make? Couldn't she date a mancouldn't she sleep with a man-without demanding or expecting absolute exclusivity? She deserved some fun and some companionship and some goddamn sex-in her personal life. So shut the hell up.
He meddled. At least it could be construed as meddling by someone with her twin antennae of cynicism and suspicion humming. An outlet for her mother's needlework, a gardening job for Ava. What was next? Would he offer to buy a shoe store for Carly?
Of course that was ridiculous. It was overreacting. It was overprotective. Certainly neither her mother nor Ava considered the opportunities offered meddling. And it wasn't as if they weren't particularly skilled at the arts and crafts he'd provided a channel for.
The problem was she could twist his actions, this relationship, the entire mass of it all into any of several forms. If she were going to be obsessive and picky about it. Instead ofjust taking a chance, enjoying the moment.
Besides, she was too close to his house now to turn back like some nervous idiot and bolt for home.
They'd talk, they'd simply talk about what was going on, about what this business with Ava was really about. They'd eat some pizza, maybe drink some wine, and have a mature, adult conversation about where-if anywhere-they might be going.
If Sensible Phoebe wasn't satisfied with that, she could get the hell out of the car and walk home.
It occurred to her as she turned into Duncan's drive that the first time she'd seen his house she'd been traumatized. The second time it had been after dusk. Seeing it now, in full light, with all her wits about her, was a different experience.
It was gorgeous, all those tall windows with the carved white trim against the pale, beachy blue of the wood. The sweep of terraces and verandas. And, of course, the sturdy elegance of the portico with its white columns. Where they'd very nearly taken an action that would have turned her recent debate to dust.
The charm of that widow's walk where she could easily imagine standing to look out at marsh and salt flat, at garden, at river. And, of course, the gardens. The heaps and flows, the spikes and trails. She had to concede the man knew gardens, or hired a fleet of people who did. Which was one and the same, really. A man didn't have to dig and plant, to prune and weed, to appreciate the power of a lovely landscape.
The result was a gorgeous little slice of island living, sun and shade, bloom and fragrance, green and color all swirling around a house that managed to be grand and homey at the same time.
It took vision, she supposed, to pull that off.
She strolled along the walk, enjoying the dreamy, romantic sensation, and hoped they'd have that wine, that pizza and conversation, out on the veranda with the warm, moist air and those heady fragrances stirred up by the breeze.
He opened the door before she reached it, stood framed by that white trim, watching her walk toward him.
'I feel like I should be wearing a flowing white gown,' she called out, 'and a wide-brimmed hat-like this dead-ringer-for-Julia-Roberts transvestite I had a nice chat with yesterday. Only my hat should be trimmed with violets, I think-tucked into the band, and ribbons trailing.'
'You look pretty perfect just the way you are, even if you aren'tfar as I know-a transvestite.'
'She might've been a transsexual. I didn't like to ask on so short an acquaintance.'
'Either way. I like the dress.'
'Thanks.' It might have been something she often hauled out for PTA meetings, but at the moment the simple cotton felt pretty perfect. 'You've had a busy day.'
'It's all relative.' He held out a hand to take hers, to bring her inside.
She didn't see it coming. So much, she'd think later, for instinctscop or woman. But right at that moment, with her back up against the door and his mouth hot on hers, thinking wasn't part of the equation. She might've put her hands on his shoulders in a gesture of whoa there, wait a minute pal, but they slid right up until her arms were locked around his neck.
And waiting was done.
His hands dove into her hair, skimmed over her shoulders, molded down her body with such purpose and skill that any idea ofwhoa went straight out the window, and kept on flying.
Sensible Phoebe didn't have a prayer.
He smelted so good, and felt even better-hard and tough and male. With her mouth under assault and her blood flashing from comfortably warm to desperately hot, her body ruled the moment.
He might have stopped-if she'd pulled out a gun and held it to his head, he might've stopped. But he heard, in some dim part of his brain, her purse hit the floor with a single hard thump.
Then she locked around him, those strong bare arms, and her teeth nipped and gnawed on his bottom lip. She moaned; she quivered. And her scent seemed to rise from light, teasing invitation to will-snapping opiate.
He slid her dress up, up, up those gorgeous legs, ran his hand over warm flesh, over the thin lacy bit that covered her. Under it.
Not warm here, but hot. Hot and wet and open. Her hips pumped, pressed, and she came on a low, feral groan that shot straight to his belly. Her fingers dug in, a hard bite on his shoulders.
Then they were pushing between their bodies, tugging at the button of his fly.
Now, now, now. Right this minute. Oh God! She didn't know if she said it out loud or just thought it. The sensations careening inside her flew too fast, too high for any kind of resisrance, any hope of sanity. She wasn't entirely sure she could survive another ten seconds if he wasn't inside her.
And when he was, when he drove into her, she didn't give a damn about survival.
Fast, right on the edge of violent, thrust after thrust. It filled up places she'd forgotten had been empty, fired up places she'd forgotten had gone cool. It was an onslaught, and thank God for it.
Nothing strapped down now, nothing sensible. He had her arms over her head, wrists cuffed with his hand, her skirt hiked to her waist.
He battered her against the front door until the orgasm simply shredded her to pieces.
And with his own release his breath was ragged in her ear. He braced her against the door. She realized when her head cleared a little it was as much to keep his own balance as to hold her up.
'Thanks,' she managed.
'It was at least fifty percent my pleasure.'
When she wheezed out a laugh, he eased back, studying her face as he brushed her hair aside. 'I had a different order of business in mind. Initially.'
She could nearly focus again, and oh God, she loved the color of his eyes. 'Order of business.'
'You know, a couple of adult beverages on the veranda, or walking around the gardens. Some dinner with conversation. Then I realized I'd just be thinking about sex through all that, which would spoil my appetite.' He ran a hand up her leg as he spoke, had her quivering once more.
And gently smoothed her skirts back into place. 'That's one thing,' he continued, 'but I believed you might very well be in the same frame of mind. Here I'd be having you over for dinner and spoiling your appetite. That's no way to treat a guest.'
'I see. So am I to understand we just had at each other against your front door because you didn't want to be rude?'
He grinned at her. 'Absolutely. Only reason. Steady yet?'
'I think so.'
He stepped back, glanced down. Bending he picked up her ripped panties. He said, 'Oops.'
She laughed. 'I don't know why I bothered to put on good underwear.'
'They were momentarily appreciated. I could lend you a pair of boxers.'
'I'll pass on that, thanks all the same. I'll just use the bathroom for a minute.'
'Yeah, sure. Listen, Phoebe.. ' Absently he stuffed the torn panties in his back pocket. 'Included in that original order of business was my intention to suit up a bit more formally.'
She stared at him, a quizzical smile on her face. Then it sank in, the smile dropped away to a look of stunned realization. 'Oh. Oh, God.'
'I stopped thinking,' he began. 'I'm-'
'It was mutual, as much me as you.' Stunned, she rubbed the space between her breasts where her heart gave a couple of hard knocks. 'I take the pill, but-'
'But,' he said with a nod. 'I can only tell you I'm habitually a hell of a lot more careful. We can exchange blood tests if you're worried. I can tell you, too, that's the first time that front door's been used in such an interesting manner. I may have it bronzed, but meanwhile, I'm sorry, and I'm willing to sacrifice a vial of blood if it gives you peace of mind.'
'Let's just say we'll be more careful from this point.'
'Okay.'
She picked up the purse she'd dropped. 'I'll be back in a minute.'
She got a good look at herself in the bathroom mirror. Flushed, the sleepy cat-that-gulped-a pint-of-cream eyes, hair tumbled. All well and good, she thought. And God knew it had been good. But she wasn't allowed to be that reckless, and couldn't be again. Next date, she promised herself, there would be condoms in her purse.
When she came out he wasn't in the foyer, or the front parlor. She called out his name as she started to wander, then followed the answer to a room off the kitchen. Party room, she decided. A grand old bar, lots of cushy seating, framed posters of what she saw were reproductions of old magazine ads. All deco and stylized.
There was a card table that looked to be an antique like the bar, and display cabinets filled with this and that. Some of the this, she noted with amusement, were Pez dispensers.
'The gentlemen's club,' she said.
'Sort of.' He came around the bar with two glasses of wine. 'Hungry?'
'I think you already took care of that.'
His grin was quick and pleased. 'That's good because I called in for the pizza, but I told them to bring it around in about an hour. Thought you might like to have a drink outside, maybe in the garden. Watch the sun go down.'
'That's exactly what I'd like.'
She went with him through a set of French doors onto the back ve randa. And there, scanning, she took a sip of wine. 'Nice-the wine,' she qualified. 'The rest? It's like a little piece of fairyland, isn't it?'
'Lots of secret places. I got carried away with it once I really started.'
'So.. ' She stepped down, crossed the patio. 'Why aren't you hiring whoever designed and created this to design and create the gardens you want at this shop you're planning?'
'You talked to Ava.'
'She's terrified and thrilled in equal measure.'
'Well, here's the thing. This? I sort of designed some of it. Not really designed, but fiddled around. I had help, and it's kind of evolved and shifted and changed its original layout.'
'Whatever the original, this suits you.' Phoebe turned a slow circle. 'Fanciful, as I said, and its lack of formality enhances the charm.' He was looking at her now, only at her. 'You standing in it enhances the charm.'
She made a mock curtsy. 'Aren't you gallant?'
'If I were, I'd have come up with something romantic about blooms or blossoms.'
'You did fine. As to Ava?'
'Yeah, Ava, and the place. I don't think I'm going to have time to fiddle so much with that project, and I didn't really want the team sensibility. I wanted a woman's, a woman who understands a house like that one, an area like that one, and knows how to, well, lay the landscape, to put in the flourishes and the color so people walking or driving by will say, 'That's Savannah right there.' I like what she's done with the house on Jones.'
He pushed through an ornate iron gate. Phoebe saw instantly what he'd meant about secrets. It was a little island on the island, one of tranquillity and whispers, with its little pool with floating lilies, its fanciful statue of a winged fairy.
She walked over to a small curved bench of white marble, sat. 'Not just a good deed?'
'I don't mind good deeds or suspicious minds, as yours tends to be. But I don't mind profiting by being a good judge and picking people for projects they're suited for.'
'Ever pick the wrong person?'
'A few times. I don't think Ava's one of them.'
'She won't be. She had this house in West Chatham when she was married, and she created the most amazing gardens. She even got written up in Southern Homes.. You knew that, didn't you?'
His dimple flicked on. 'I might've come across something.'
'Smarter than you look, and that's a pure compliment.'
'You, too.' He leaned over, kissed her breezily. 'Want to walk around a bit, maybe down to the pier?'
'Yes, I'd like that.'
Bricked paths, arbors and trellises, copper urns going soft and green, and pretty music as the evening breeze stirred hanging glass and wind chimes.
The sun was sinking, turning the marsh into shimmering colors. From the pier she could see other homes, other gardens, and what she thought was a young boy sitting on the edge of a pier with his line in the water.
'Do you ever do that? Fish off here?'
'I'm a crappy fisherman. Rather just sit here with a beer and let someone else drown the worms.'
She turned around, noted how far they'd walked. 'The grounds are more extensive than I realized.' And there, she noted, were the sparkling waters of a swimming pool. 'A lot to maintain. I'm still having a hard time seeing you as the country gentleman. How about that long story on how you ended up here?'
'It's not all that interesting.'
'Not all that interesting to you, or potentially to me?'
'Probably either.'
'Now, of course, my curiosity is piqued and, unquenched, will depend on imagination to satisfy. Such as you built it for a womanunrequited love, heartbreak-who left you for another man.'
'Not that far off.'
She sobered instantly. 'I'm sorry, bad joke. We should start back to the house, don't you think? I'd hate to miss the pizza boy. I'd love to eat on the veranda, or in the garden,' she continued as they walked up the pier. 'Wouldn't-'
'I built it for my mother.'
'Oh.' She heard the echoes of deep unhappiness in his voice, but said nothing else.
'I guess that's not the beginning of the story. My mother was seventeen when she had me. What we could call a very big oops. My father was barely older. For whatever reason they-or she-decided to go through with the pregnancy, get married. I'm grateful, obviously, about the first part of that decision, but the married part probably wasn't the smartest move on either of their parts. They fought all the time-the time they were together. He was lazy, she was a bitch, he drank too much, she kept a crappy house. Fun and games at the Swifts'.'
'It's difficult for a child to grow up with that kind of friction.'
'Yeah, well, the thing is they were both right. He was lazy and drank too much. She was a bitch and kept a crappy house. I was ten when he took off. He'd taken off a few times before-so had she. But this time he didn't come back.'
'Are you saying you never saw him again?'
'Not for a lot of years. Man, she was pissed. Paid him back by going out a lot, doing what she wanted for a change. More than half the time
I wondered if she even knew I was there. So to remind her I was, I got into as much trouble as possible. Fighting mostly. I was the neighborhood badass for five years running.'
Saying nothing, she lifted her hand, traced a fingertip down the scar through his eyebrow.
'Yeah, battle scar. No big.'
'It intrigued me when I first saw you. Scar here, little dimple right here.' She tapped the corner of his mouth. 'Opposite ends. You've got some opposite ends in you, Duncan. What happened in year six? How did you lose your title as neighborhood badass?'
'You're a smart one. I targeted this kid who was a lot tougher than he looked. He didn't kick my ass, but boy, did we kick each other's.'
'And ended up the best of friends,' Phoebe concluded. 'Isn't that the manly cliche?'
'I hate being predictable, but close enough. While we're pounding each other bloody, and I'm wondering if my badass title is about to be stripped away, the kid's father comes along. Big guy, yanked us apart.
We're going to do that shit, we're going to put the gloves on and do it like men. Kid's father used to box for a living. No wonder Jake almost kicked my ass.'
'And who won the title in the ring?'
'Neither. We never got around to the gloves. Jake's father dragged me to their place, cleaned us both up at the kitchen sink while his wife fixed me an ice bag and a glass of lemonade. Bored yet? I told you it was long.'
'Not even close to bored.'
'Well, you're going to need another glass of wine for the rest.' He took her glass. Phoebe leaned back against the rail and waited until he came back with refills.
'Where was I?'
'At Jake's kitchen table drinking lemonade.'
'And getting a whale of a talking-to. First time anybody-not including teachers, who didn't count in those days for me-ever gave me one. It occurred to me at this time that being the neighborhood badass was getting me punched in the face on a regular basis. And what was the point? She never said a damn thing about it when I came home bloody anyway. So I gave up the belt of my championship reign.'
'You were what, about fifteen?'
'Thereabouts.'
'Young for an epiphany, but I understand youthful epiphanies.' He shifted to look into her eyes. 'Guess you would.'
'So we have the common ground of that. I moved into MacNamara House after mine, which is another story for another day. What did you do after you retired from badassing?'
'I got a job, thinking that might be the way to please her-my mother-and it would be less painful than bare knuckles.'
'A wise choice.' But he'd never pleased her, Phoebe thought, she could hear it in his voice. 'What kind ofjob?'
'I bused tables, gave her half of what I made every week. That was fine. Didn't change anything between us, but it was fine. I started to think that's just the way things were for people like us. Single parent, scraping by. She just didn't have time to pay attention.'
He was quiet for a few moments while a whip-poor-will began its twilight call. 'Of course, being a single parent, you know that's not the case.'
'I know it shouldn't be.'
'When I was eighteen she told me I had to get my own place, so I did. Time passed, and one day I picked up a fare whose wallet was empty. One thing led to another and I met his family. No father-he died when Phin was a kid-but the result was the same. There was no father there, but the mother, oh, you best believe she paid attention.' Phoebe thought of Ma Bee-big hands, steady eyes. 'Even when you wished she didn't.'
'Even. She had a brood of kids, but she paid attention. To me, too.
So I saw it wasn't just the way it is. It was easier to believe that, or want to. But it was not the way it is.
'That'd be the pizza.' He pushed off the rail. 'I'll be a minute. If it's Teto, he likes to talk.'
'All right.'
She sipped her wine, looked out at the gardens now that the first stars were popping out. He'd thought the house, the gardens, the beauty here would make his mother, at last, pay attention. Phoebe already saw that, and that it hadn't worked.
Why did he stay? she wondered. Wasn't it painful?
He came back with a pizza box, a pair of plates riding the top, napkins tucked between.
'I'll set it up. Will you finish telling me?'
'I guess we can fast-forward to hitting the jackpot.'
He lit candles as she set the plates and napkins on a wicker table. 'Local boy makes way good, just because he bought a six-pack and a lottery ticket. Had a hell of a celebration. I think I was solid drunk for two days. First sober thing I did was go over to Ma Bee's. I bought this funny little brass bottle, like a genie bottle. I told her to rub it, to make three wishes. I was going to grant all three.'
'Aren't you the cutest thing?' Phoebe said softly, then sat at the table.
'I thought I was pretty damn clever. She said that was all right, she'd make three wishes. The first was that I wouldn't piss this money away being an idiot and forgetting I had some brains. The second was that I take this opportunity, this gift, and make something of myself. I guess I looked like a balloon that had its air pricked out, because she laughed and laughed, and she gave me a slap on the arm. She told me if I needed to give her something, if I needed to do that to be happy, she'd like a pair of red shoes with heels and open toes. Size nine. Wouldn't she be some sight going to church Sundays in those red shoes?'
'You must love her beyond measure.'
'I do. And mostly I tried to keep my word, too, all the wishes. The red shoes were easy. Not being an idiot's more problematic. People come out of the woodwork. That's the way it is, and passing out money, it can make you feel important. Until-like getting fists punched into your face-you start to realize it's just fucking stupid.'
'And you're not. You're not the least bit stupid.'
'I had my moments.' He slid pizza onto her plate, then onto his. 'I bought this land for my mother, had the house built. I used to hear her say, if she could just get out of the goddamn city. I could do that for her, and wouldn't that make me important to her? I gave her money in the meantime, of course. Got her out of that apartment and into a pretty little house while this one was being built. My old man turned up, as bad pennies do. I wasn't quite as gullible there. I gave him twenty-five thousand, all he was smart enough to ask for. But I had Phin draw up an agreement. He couldn't come at me for more. He wouldn't get it, and if he tried I could sue him for harassment, and other legal mumbo. It probably wouldn't hold up, but my father wasn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier, so he took the twenty-five and went away again.'
'It must have hurt you.'
'Should have,' Duncan said after a moment. 'It really didn't.' He ate pizza, drank wine. 'I brought my mother out here when the house was nearly finished, when it was easy to see what it was going to be. I told her it was for her. I'd furnish it any way she liked. She'd never have to work again.
'She walked around the empty rooms. She asked me why the hell I thought she'd ever live out here, in a house big as a barn. I said she just didn't see how it would be yet. I was going to get her a housekeeper, a cook, whatever she wanted. She turned around, looked at me. 'You want to give me what I want? Buy me a house in Vegas, and give me a stake of fifty thousand. That's what I want.'
'I didn't do it, not then. I kept thinking she'd change her mind, once she saw the house finished. I brought her out here again when it was-badgered her into it. The gardens were in, and I'd furnished a few of the rooms, so she'd get a real sense of it.'
Gently, Phoebe touched his hand. 'But it wasn't what she wanted.'
'No, it wasn't. She wanted the house in Vegas and fifty K. I bargained. Live here for six months, and if you don't change your mind, I'll buy you a house wherever you want and give you a hundred thousand.
She took the deal, and six months later called me out here. She was already packed. She had the number of a realtor she'd been working with, and had the house already picked out. I could take care of buying the house, and send her a check at Caesars in the meantime. I decided it was time to stop, metaphorically, taking that fist in the face. I had Phin draw up another agreement, then I went out to Vegas, did the deal, gave her the papers, which she signed without a blink. She took the check, and that was that.'
'How long ago?'
'Going on five years now. She got a job serving drinks, ended up catching the eye of some high roller. He paid to track down the old man, get a legal divorce. They got married two years ago.'
'And you live here.'
'Seemed a shame to waste this place. Figured I'd sell it, but it kind of grew on me. And it was a point, too. Point being sometimes you don't get what you want, and it doesn't matter if it's fair or not. So you better find something else.'
It was amazing, really, she realized. One evening had satisfied her sensible and her lustful parts. She'd not only had stupendous sex, not only gotten to know him better, but had come to understand him.
'I don't have to tell you she didn't deserve you.'
'No. She might've deserved the badass in training, but she didn't deserve who I figured out to be-with a little help from my friends.'
'Did you buy that house for Ma Bee, the one where we were on Sunday?'
'All the kids-which includes me-went together on that three years ago. She'd take it, you see, from all of us, from the family, but she wouldn't have taken it from any single one of us. If you see the difference.'
'Yes, I do. And what about Jake? What happened to him?'
'He does the contracting, when I pick up a place. His father went into construction after he got out of the ring, a few years before my own fateful day with them. Jake went into the business. He's good at it.'
'I bet he is.' Obligingly, she plopped another slice of pizza on his plate. 'You have a way of picking them.'
'I do.' He laid a hand over hers. 'With a few disappointing exceptions, I have a hell of a way of picking them.'
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